I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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