how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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