my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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