Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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