You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
