her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
3 2 1 whiskey
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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