i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
well you can't waste a boner
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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