i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
