maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
