just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I deserve this hangover.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
