summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
