everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
