remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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