I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she told me i tasted like america
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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