no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
