The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
