Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
