I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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