Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
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