Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He did a backflip because drugs
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
