the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
