If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
