I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
