I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
