He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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