He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
