brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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