ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
