And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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