I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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