She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
false alarm. still invincible.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this will be a night to untag.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
