It's Friday. Sex?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
two words: eviction party
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
