he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
