well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
