This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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