I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
