I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
