the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
