I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
