haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
