i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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