i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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