Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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