I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
