Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If that was your dad, he is hot
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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