What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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