Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
