quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
