It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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