I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
