you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we made out on top of his cat.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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