Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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