Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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