Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
